I'll Be There For You
by NatalieO01
Summary: This is basically a "Friends" AU starring the adult versions of our favorite KND operatives, Fanny, Patton, Abby, Hoagie, Rachel, Nigel, Wally, and Kuki!


**A/N: Hey guys! I know I should be working on my other fic, "The Adventures of Eight Teenage Idiots in Time" (which I have not updated in awhile), but I got a burst of inspiration for a "Friends" AU, right after it got took off Netflix, lol. I've also wanted to do one of these forever, but I've been more focused on my other series, which I will update eventually by the way. This will obviously be based off of "Friends", but I'm gone skip most if the episodes, and mainly do season premieres and finales. Also, it's going to be a little different from the series, since there are eight people instead of six, but I'm also going to use some of my own original ideas. Plus, it's going to be set in the 2020's instead of the 1990's, so it'll be a little more modern. **

**Here who's basically who:**

**Rachel- Monica (as confusing as that might be)**

**Abby- also Monica (they'll have slightly different story lines)**

**Nigel- Chandler**

**Hoagie- also Chandler (same thing with Abby and Rachel**

**Fanny- Rachel**

**Patton- Ross**

**Wally- Joey**

**Kuki-Phoebe**

**Like I said, it's going to be a little different from the original series, but I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Friends" or "Codename: Kids Next Door".**

I'm telling you guys, he's a normal person!" Rachel said, frustrated with the three people she was sitting around.

"Oh c'mon Rachel, you're going out with him, there has to be something wrong with him!" Wally said, making the other two laugh.

"Ha, ha." Rachel said in a deadpan tone.

"Be nice, Wally." Hoagie said. "Does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?"

"Does he eat chalk?" Kuki asked. Everyone then turned to her with an eyebrow raised. "Because I don't want you to go through what I went through with Carl-oh."

"I assure you, he's normal!" Rachel said. "Hoagie, Patton, and I actually went to high school with them." This caused Hoagie to snort.

"Rachel, everyone we went to high school with is either crazy, married, or way out of our leagues." Hoagie laughed. "So which is it, crazy or married?"

"Neither." Rachel said, glaring at Hoagie.

"So, who is it?" Hoagie asked.

"It doesn't matter, it's not even a date!" Rachel insisted. "It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex afterwards!"

"Sounds like a date to me!" Hoagie smirked.

As they were talking, a man entered the bar and walked over to them. He had an umbrella that was soaked, and looked miserable. The four looked up to him, as he waved and said a solemn, "Hi."

"This guy says hello, and I want to kill myself!" Wally exclaimed.

"Are you okay, Patton?" Kuki asked sweetly.

"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck!" He said as he sat down by Rachel.

"Cookie?" Hoagie offered him.

"Henrietta moved her stuff out today." Rachel explained. They all groaned.

Kuki then began to pick stuff out of the air, which annoyed Patton.

"No don't- stop! Stop cleansing my aura! Leave my aura alone!" Patton complained.

"Fine, be murky!" Kuki said, crossing her arms.

"Look I'll be fine!" He said, looking to all his friends. "I hope she'll be very happy!"

"No you don't." Rachel said.

"No I don't, to hell to her, she left me!" He exclaimed.

"And you never knew she was a lesbian." Wally smirked.

"Hey, she didn't know, how was I supposed to!" Patton said in defense.

"Look, Patton, you're hurt right now, you're feeling a lot of pain, you're angry. Can I tell you what the answer to that is?" Wally said. Patton shrugged. "Strip club! C'mon you're single again, have some hormones!"

"I don't want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again!" Patton exclaimed.

Just as he said that, a redheaded woman in a wedding dress busted into the coffee house, looking around, as if she was searching for someone.

"And I just want a million dollars!" Hoagie yelled.

"Oh my god." Rachel said as she stood up and walked over to the bride. "Fanny?"

"Rachel!" Fanny said hopefully. "Oh my god, Rachel hi!"

As Rachel and Fanny talked, two more people walked into the coffeehouse, one frantically putting on her apron, not paying attention to the bride.

"Okay guys, don't tell Terry I was late, it wasn't my fault, it was this idiot who said yesterday that he would pick me up, but instead got caught up in a fight with Lizzie, and didn't even-" Abby paused in her tracks as she took sight of the wet bride. The other person she was with, Nigel, had already seen Fanny and had immediately froze.

"Um...I'm just going to go get some coffee for everyone." Abby said as she went behind the counter.

"Oh thank god you're here! Oh went by your building and you weren't there, and some guy with a big hammer said you would be here, and here you are!"

"Does she want coffee?" Abby asked Rachel.

"Decaff." Rachel said.

"Um, Rach?" Nigel asked. "Do you wanna...?"

"Oh, everyone this is Fanny." Rachel said, introducing her to the group. "Another Gallagher High survivor! Fanny this is everyone. Wally, Kuki, Nigel, Abby's behind the counter, and you probably remember Hoagie and my foster brother Patton?"

"Oh sure!" She said as Patton stood up to hug her, but his umbrella came undone. She laughed it off and sat down on the couch.

"So, do you want to tell us what you're doing here, or should we wait for four wet bridesmaids?" Rachel asked as Abby handed Fanny her coffee.

"Oh god...it started like an hour before the wedding and I'm in the waiting room where they keep all the presents an I see this gravy boat. This really nice gravy boat. And as I'm staring at it, I realize, I'm more attracted to this gravy boat than I am Bobby. And then I'm just thinking "Why am I doing this? Who am I doing this for?" And then I jumped out the window, called an uber, and came here." Fanny explained. "And Rachel, I know we've drifted apart, but you're the only person I know in the city.."

"Who wasn't invited to the wedding?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I was hoping that wouldn't be a problem." Fanny said sheepishly. As she was avoiding eye contact, her phone rang. She picked it up and saw that it was her father calling.

"Oh shit." Fanny groaned. "Is there anywhere I can..?"

"Bathroom's to the left." Abby said.

Fanny gave her a grateful smile before leaving to talk to her father. As soon as she was out of sight, everyone turned to Hoagie, Patton, and Rachel.

"That's Fanny Fulbright?" Nigel asked Patton. "The girl you were still hung up on before you met Henrietta?"

"Shhh." Patton shushed. "She doesn't know I ever liked her."

"Please." Hoagie snorted. "You were so obvious. You'd stare at her like a creep everyday in the hallway and you'd sweat every time she said hi."

"Don't remind me of high school." Patton groaned.

"Wait wasn't she like the cheer captain?" Kuki asked.

"Yeah." Rachel said narrowing her eyes. "How did you know that?"

"When I get bored I steal your high school year books to laugh at your school pictures." Kuki said. "Wally, Abby, and Nigel do it too."

Hoagie, Rachel, and Patton turned to glare at them as Fanny came back in the room, still talking to her father.

"Daddy, you don't get it!" Fanny complained. "It's like all my life I was told "You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" What if I don't want to be a shoe, what if I want to be a purse? Or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a shoe! Daddy it's a metaphor!"

"You see where he may have gotten confused." Patton commented.

"Look, daddy, it's my life!" Fanny stated. "Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Rachel."

Everyone turned to Rachel. Rachel's eyes had grown big at the mention of Fanny living with her. Fanny gave her a pleading look.

"Well, I guess we've established that she's staying here with Rachel." Rachel said.

"Well, it's my decision! Well, maybe I don't need your money! Wait, I said maybe!" Fanny said quickly before her dad hung up.

* * *

"Oh god, oh god, oh god!" Fanny said as she panicked on the couch in Rachel's apartment that night.

Once Abby had gotten off her shift, everyone had gone to Rachel's apartment to hang out, as normal. Of course, Fanny was there having her mental breakdown now.

"What am I going to do?" Fanny said. "He cut me off! I can't believe he would do that!"

"Well you did waste $10,000 on a wedding that you ran away from." Abby said.

"But, still!" Fanny said. "I'm on my own now!"

"Well you couldn't live off your parents forever." Rachel said.

"That's why I was getting married." Fanny said.

"Give her a break, I know exactly where you're coming from, it's scary to be on your own." Kuki said.

"Thank you!" Fanny said.

"You're welcome!" Kuki chirped. "I remember the first time I came to the city. I was fifteen and my mom had just died, after my dad left, and it was just me and my little sister. She got sent to my grandmother's and I was all alone here, and I didn't know anyone. I ended up living with this albino guy, and then he killed himself, but then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel."

Everyone was left silence at Kuki's life story until Patton piped up from the kitchen.

"I believe what you're trying to say is "Anyway"..." He said.

"Fanny you're going to be fine." Patton said, trying to comfort her. "You easily find a simple job. Hey, Abby, isn't the coffeehouse hiring?"

Abby almost choked on her drink when Patton mentioned that.

"Um, yeah." Abby said. "I can probably get you the job."

"Oh, Abby thank you!" Fanny said gleefully, reaching to give Abby a hug. "I swear, I'm a fast learner, it'll be like I've been serving coffee for years."

"Okay." Abby said shooting Patton a glare over Fanny's shoulder.

Someone buzzing in on Rachel's intercom interrupted them.

"Hey, Rach, it's Pete Domblemitz." A voice said.

"Oh god, I totally forgot." Rachel said.

"Pete Domblemitz is your mystery date?" Hoagie asked.

"My ROTC friend?" Patton asked.

"I ran into him at work today." Rachel blushed.

"What was he doing in the backroom of Mannequins Plus?" Hoagie asked.

"Okay, I saw him outside of my work." Rachel said. "And he looks great."

"Isn't he engaged?" Patton asked. "I thought I got his save the date?"

"That's his brother, Peter." Rachel explained.

"Why would their parents do that?" Nigel asked.

"Believe me, we asked ourselves that for four years." Hoagie said.

"Well, are you going to let him up?" Abby asked.

"Um, I mean.." Rachel looked to Fanny.

"I'll be fine, Rach." Fanny said. "Go out with the now hot ROTC guy."

"Thanks!" Rachel said happily. She skipped over to buzz him up.

"Let me go touch up on my make up!" Rachel said as she ran to the bathroom. "Let him in, and be nice!"

Pete came up a few minutes later, and Patton opened the door.

"Hey, Pete!" Patton said.

"Hey, Patton, it's been forever." He said with a smile. "Is Rachel ready yet?"

"In a minute." Hoagie said. "She was right though you do look great."

"Hoagie!" Rachel yelled as she came out of the bathroom.

"Have fun kids!" Hoagie said as Rachel pulled Pete out of the apartment.

"So, Fanny, what are your plans for the night?" Patton asked once Rachel and Pete had left.

"Well, I was supposed to be on a plane to Hawaii for my honeymoon right about now, so nothing!" She said.

"Oh, you're not even getting your honeymoon." Patton said. "Oh, shit sorry, I mean, Hawaii is kinda humid- never mind."

"It's fine." Fanny shrugged.

"Well, if you need some company, Hoagie, Nigel, and Wally are coming over to help me put up furniture." Patton offered.

"Yes, and we're so excited." Nigel deadpanned.

"Well actually I think I'm just going to stay here tonight. It's been a long day." Fanny said. Patton nodded.

"Hey, Kuki, Abby, you guys wanna help?" Wally asked.

"Oh, we wish we could, but we don't want to." Kuki said.

* * *

At Patton's apartment, Nigel, Wally, and Hoagie were trying to assemble a bookcase while Patton moped in the kitchen. They were almost done, with only one more piece.

"What's this?" Wally asked.

"I have no idea." Hoagie said.

Nigel then grabbed the piece and threw it in a trashcan. "Hey, Patton, we're done!" He said.

Patton was clutching a beer can a sighing. "This was Henrietta's favorite beer. She drank it straight out of the can. How did I not realize sooner."

He leaned back and groaned. "I'm divorced! I'm 26 and divorced! And do you know what the scariest part is, what if you only get one person, and she was it?"

"Dude, relax." Wally started. "That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream. They're billions of flavors of ice cream, Rocky Road, cookie dough, and cherry vanilla! This is the best thing that's ever happened to you! You got married at what eighteen? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!"

"I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny." Patton said.

"Stay out of my freezer." Hoagie added.

As they were talking, Patton's phone rang.

"It's her." He sighed. "She probably forgot something here."

"You know what you should do with it?" Wally said. Patton rolled his eyes.

"Hey." He said.

That's when his life changed forever.

_**"You're what?!"**_

* * *

"She's pregnant?!" Abby asked the next morning at Rachel's apartment.

"Yeah." Patton said, still in disbelief.

"How can she be pregnant?" Abby asked.

"We had sex about a month ago." Patton said. "She used to be on birth control, but she quit it, and I didn't use a condom."

"What are you going to do?" Kuki asked.

"She said that she and Valerie want me to be involved, but I don't have to if I'm too uncomfortable."

"God, she was great! I miss her!" Kuki said.

Rachel then came out of her room to find that all of her friends were gathered in her kitchen.

"Oh fuck." She said.

"Rach, what's-?"

"Hey, Rachel, I better go-" Pete said as he left her room. He stopped once he saw all of her friends gathered in the kitchen with smirks on their faces.

"Hey, Pete!" Hoagie said happily.

"I better go." Pete said. "Bye, Rach!"

"Bye!" She said happily. She then turned to glare at her friends.

"What do you call a date?" Wally laughed.

"Shut up!" She said. "What are you guys doing here anyways?"

"I got some news." Patton said. "You're going to be an aunt."

"What?!" Rachel asked.

"Henrietta's pregnant." Patton said miserably.

"What are you going to do?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know, I have to think this through." Patton said, getting up. "I've got to go."

"Okay." Rachel said, giving him a hug. "Tell me if you need anything."

Patton gave her a small smile and left.

"Well, I better go to." Nigel said. "If I don't process these numbers no one will, and then, no one will care."

"So you guys all have, like real jobs?" Fanny asked.

"Yeah." Wally said. "I'm an actor, and a bartender."

"Ooh, anything I might have seen?" Fanny asked.

"No, mostly just regional stuff." He said.

"Unless, you may have caught Rerun's production of Pinocchio." Hoagie said.

"Hey, it was a job!" Wally said.

"Sure." Hoagie said. "_He used to be a little boy..._" He sang as he left the apartment.

"He's dead." Wally said as he followed him.

"So how was your date?" Fanny asked after the boys left.

"Really great." Rachel said happily. "He said that he hadn't been out much since his girlfriend cheated on him, and that he thinks he's finally ready to date again!"

"Sounds great for you Rach." Abby said. "Hey, Fanny we better go so we can start your training."

"Okay!" Fanny said happily. "Wish me luck!"

* * *

"Okay, so to make coffee, you have to remember one thing, don't use a filter twice." Abby explained. "And also, be careful with the pot, it can be a little hot."

Fanny nodded as she grabbed the pot, and immediately dropped out after yelling in pain.

"Sorry." Fanny said sheepishly.

"Everyone makes mistakes." Abby said. "Even after you said the same thing fourteen times." She gave Fanny a rag and began to help her clean up.

"So, what's all this Henrietta stuff?" Fanny asked. "I get that Patton got her pregnant after they split up, but why did they divorce?"

"Henrietta is a lesbian." Abby said. "She was having an affair with a girl from her gym, and Patton walked in on them."

"Wow." Fanny said. "Poor Patton."

"Yeah, I've been there." Abby said sadly.

"What happened?" Fanny asked.

"My high school boyfriend cheated on me after about six years together." Abby shrugged. "We were living together, and had plans to get married and all that stuff, but then he slept with some bitch from his work, and here I am now."

"How long ago?" Fanny asked.

"About six months." Abby sighed. "It sucked, but I'm over it now."

"I wonder how Bobby's feeling." Fanny said. "God, I feel horrible."

"Hey, at least you didn't cheat on him." Abby said. "You just left him confused and upset at the altar."

Fanny laughed as Rachel busted through the door, roughly hung her coat up, and walked to the couch.

"I hate men." She said.

"What happened?" Abby asked.

"As I was leaving work today, I saw Pete with another woman." Rachel said. "Turns out it was his fiancee, and he was the one who's engaged. Well, was engaged."

"That sucks, Rach." Fanny said. "Want some coffee? I just made it!"

"Sure." Rachel said as Fanny handed a cup. She took a sip and immediately gagged as Fanny walked away.

"What the hell did she do to this?" She asked Abby as Wally and Patton walked in.

"Hi." Patton said sadly as he slumped on the couch.

"Have you had anytime to think it through?" Rachel asked.

"No." Patton said. "I mean, what should I do? Raise a baby with my ex-wife and her new girlfriend, or let the kid grow up without knowing me?"

"I don't know, sweetie." Rachel said, pulling him in for a hug.

"Here's what I think you should do." Wally said. "Maybe you should take the night to think through at Lime Ricky's."

"Are you working there tonight?" Abby asked.

"Maybe." Wally said. "But, it doesn't matter. You should get out, try to meet someone. Bars are great for that."

"I don't know, isn't it a little earlier for me to be rebounding?" Patton asked.

"You don't need to rebound, you just need to get out. Everyone does." Wally said. "Rach, I can tell by the look on your face things didn't work out with Pete."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Fanny, it can take your mind about your failed wedding." Wally suggested.

Fanny crossed her arms.

"And Abby, you can rebound, too." Wally said.

"I don't need to rebound." Abby said. "I'm past Maurice."

"Well, you could still come to the bar and help your friend out." Wally said. "Please?"

"Fine." Patton shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do."

"I can drown my sorrows after getting played." Rachel shrugged. "Again."

"I guess I could go too." Fanny shrugged.

Wally smiled and then turned to Abby with his pointy face.

"Fine." She said. "This is only because I feel bad for Nigel and Hoagie since they have to pay most of your rent."

* * *

At the bar, everyone was sat around and talking as Wally served drinks, occasionally butting in to their conversations.

"So he turned out to be engaged?" Nigel asked Rachel as he took a sip of his beer.

"Yeah." Rachel sighed. "Why do I only attract guys who are either weirdos or in a serious relationship?"

"Hey, it's better than annoying, clinging women." Nigel said.

"Did you break up with Lizzie?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Nigel groaned. "And trust me, it was not received well."

"What happened?" Rachel asked.

"Well, it started when she told me about her awful day at work." Nigel sighed. "I let her vent for about half an hour before I sat her down and told her I wanted to break up. Turns out she had gotten me a Union Jack mug, and when I told her, she threw it at my head."

"God." Rachel said.

"It missed me, but hit the TV, and now, Hoagie and Wally are out to kill me." Nigel said.

"They'll be fine." Rachel said. "It's not like when Hoagie clogged up the toilet and flooded your apartment."

"Or when Wally had sex on the table and we couldn't eat off it sit weeks." Nigel smiled.

Across the bar, Patton was sitting with Kuki, as Wally leaned over the counter.

"The first ultrasound is tomorrow." He lamented. "Should I go?"

"I mean, it's totally up to you." Kuki said. "But I think you should. I mean I grew up without a dad, and I really would have loved one."

"You make a good point, Kooks." Patton said. "This is such a shitty situation though."

"Have you thought about seeing anyone else?" Wally asked.

"Um.." Patton then looked to where Fanny was sitting with Abby and Hoagie, laughing at something. "Maybe."

He then stood up, taking his beer with him. "I'll be right back."

"Okay." Wally said as he left. He then leaned in to whisper to Kuki.

"He totally likes her." Wally said.

"Duh." Kuki laughed. "How much do you want to bet that they hook up in less than three months?"

"Hey Fanny." Patton said as she was walking over to Rachel.

"Oh hey!" Fanny said. "How are you doing with the whole baby thing?"

"I still don't really know." He said. "How was your first day at the coffeehouse?"

"Okay I guess." Fanny shrugged. "I broke a few mugs."

"Oh." Patton said. "Well, everyone does that once or twice."

"Yeah." Fanny laughed.

"So, I don't know if you knew this, but in high school I had a small crush on you." Patton said awkwardly.

"I knew." Fanny admitted.

"Oh." Patton blushed. "I always just figured you thought I was just Rachel's geeky foster brother."

"I did." Fanny said awkwardly.

"Oh okay." Patton said with a small laugh. "Well, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of factor here- but do you think that it would be okay if I asked you out?"

"Maybe." Fanny smiled.

"Okay, maybe I will..." Patton smiled.

"I'm going to go talk to Rach." Fanny said. "See you later.

"See ya." Patton said with a smile on his face as he walked back to Kuki and Wally.

"What are you so happy about?" Kuki asked as he sat down.

"I just grabbed a spoon." He smiled.

Wally clapped him on the back as Kuki raised an eyebrow.

"What?" She asked.

"It's a metaphor." Wally said quickly.

In a booth, Abby and Hoagie sat across from each other, Hoagie listening to her vent.

"I mean, we were together for six years." Abby said to him. "Six fucking years, and then he cheats on me with Cree! My fucking sister!"

"It sucks." Hoagie said. "But, c'mon, Abby, you are too good for him."

"Sure." Abby rolled her eyes.

"It's true Abby." Hoagie insisted. "C'mon, you're insanely smart, kind, and easily one of the most beautiful women I've ever meet."

"You're just saying that." Abby said.

"Abby, you just got into law school, and you're already doing amazing." Hoagie said. "You were patient enough to deal with Fanny today and get her a job, and you are so fucking hot. Cree barely made it out of college, is really mean, and is only pretty because she's related to you. Maurice got scared that you were going to cheat on him with someone who's good enough for you, so he went for the second best."

"You're a really sweet guy, Hoagie." Abby said. "Why are you still single?"

"Most girls find me too awkward and cynical." Hoagie said. "And, if I'm lucky to find one, I often get scared at the mentions of "marriage", "children", and "commitment"."

"True." Abby laughed. "Want to get another drink."

"Sure, and let me pay." Hoagie said. "Wally's charging Nigel for all of my drinks, since Lizzie broke our TV."

* * *

_-The Next Morning-_

Abby stretched as she woke up, her head killing her. She opened her eyes and saw she was in someone else's room, and turned to see that person wide awake with her.

"Ahhhh!" Hoagie and Abby screamed.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! And if you want me to do a specific episode, please PM me, or comment! Also, please be patient with me, since Netflix doesn't stream it anymore. **

**Constructive Criticism is welcomed! **

**Please Review! **

**Bye- Nat**


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